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DoH over GoW

It's my birthday so I'm doing the writeup, themed, for her pleasure.

R1: We all cum in GoW's Fields of Wenches server. We spend all prematch blowing each other (up). The match starts and we start getting it on. Our offense owns itself and they knock each other up...and into the pit. I'm engy, so I start playing with my gun. Then GoW's O calls me up and tries to take out my gun while I stay up top banging away. Our O caps a few, and GoW's gets some touches. Felix wants to play some role playing and dons the name Roms, then spends all round complaining about getting raped by his own team. Between playing with my enormous (ok, slightly smaller than average) gun I spend the time going up and down over and over again on the elevator and trying to rail the shit outta GoW's offense. Temp played demo and seemed to suffer from chronic premature detonation. R1 ends with DoH up 5-3.

R2: After a quick 5 minutes both teams are ready to go at it again. Count your blessings kids, you won't be able to give a repeat performance after such a short time as you get older. This round Chik takes her proper place as engy and I get to play medic. She's much more accustomed to it and gets the gun at attention in no time flat. Both offenses start kind of slow, then DoH goes on a 3 cap relay. Not to be outdone, GoW starts banging away at our d with a few relays of their own. I jump around like a crackwhore and end up getting gangbanged by genocide and shaggy most of the round. The rest of the offense goes all elite and get stuff done while I play human shield. Zeik gets all cocky and gets whooped by Jen. He's so upset he got shotdown that he ends up getting owned by her L1 and tossing the flag right into the sg. I make a few trips through the batts to spend some qt with Xin, but he always just gave me a quicky combo to the face. The few times I did see the flag Azlan blew me right quick, or ended up chasing after my ass as I ran away like a scared little girl. R2 ends DoH 8 GoW 5.

GG GoW, in the words of 50 cent, I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

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