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M over tmp

When I click on the TFL schedule for this week and saw that we were against /tmp/ I immediately chalked up another loss for us. Hell, who wouldn't! However, as the Gods would have it, today was our lucky day, and we scrape by somehow with the win! I will attribute this to my individual skill, and my individual ability to carry a team.

Round 1 started on /tmp/'s server, and pings were decent all around! We started off strong, pulling tmp's flag out to the ramp on the very first run! However, the [S-CREW] magic began to work, and that flag was immediately returned! You could almost see our defense, ears perked, waiting for the cap music to play, or in my case, the MC Hammer music. Then, like a punch to the face, the sound of the enemy flag returning instead! Hearts broken, nerves wracked, we hung our heads in shame and let the /tmp/ offense have their way with us. YOU BROKE OUR SPIRITS, OFFENSE...GOOD JOB. The rest of the match was spent rebuilding my SG, dying, rebuilding my SG, dying, trying to wrench people but failing miserably and just dying instead, and so forth. I don't think my SG ever lasted longer than 30 seconds before some medic would come traipsing into the flagroom, laying waste to everything in his path. But anyways, defensive MVP goes to M.bhop for his stellar performance on the ramp...HE TRULY DOES OWN THE INTERNET, PEOPLE. I would also like to point out that, while we were deciding who would GET to play the ramp, he changed his name from bho to bho-OW! Just out of the blue! SUP LARGER E-PENIS?!? Offensive MVP goes to myself, because I did more than our O combined as a defensive engy. Stupid dumbasses. Round ends with M in the hole, 3-8!

Down 5 caps, we were pretty much on track against tmp. We figured we'd take a nice 5-9 loss rnd 2, make the score a purty 8-17 or so...you know, a respectable kind of loss. Little did we know that /tmp/ would contract a contagious virus that prevented them from the use of two eyes! Without the benefit of panoramic 3-dimensional vision, they were hardpressed to aim correctly and accurately! On top of all this, someone over at tmp's headquarters had left the chicken in the oven, and the smoke alarm had gone off, causing much panic to the cyclopian warriors! On top of all this, we called in our cheaters, M.banichi and M.rampage, who so clearly and blatently cheat that it's not even funny. Unless you find cheating funny, then I guess it's funny. We got off to a good start, pulling to a quick lead of about 3 caps. From then on, it was a grueling battle to the finish, with M pulling into the tie late into the round! With the game tied up, we were looking to overtime, when our flag was pulled from the lasers and onto the plank! I quickly built my SG at the end of the plank, and next thing I know it SHOOTS THE MEDIC WITH THE FLAG INTO THE PIT! WE ARE SAVED! Then our offense somehow pulls out another flag, and we prayed to the Gods that we could hold off the tmp offense for another minute! They almost got it out, but we held on for the win! Defensive MVP goes to M.depleted for a great job in following the flag, and he also scored us some vital returns. Offensive MVP goes to whoever the hell M.^_^ was, I think it was M.banichi...stupid kid. At least he produced on the scoreboard, so I'll overlook his intelligence! Round ends with M on top 12-6!

Final score: 15-14, M wins!

GREAT GAME TMP, we don't come back often like this, and it will probably never happen again! Hope we never play again so that you can't kill us next time!

No offense is meant by the following, but I need to get it off my chest:

WE BEAT TMP
WE BEAT TMP
WE BEAT TMP
NA NANA NAH NAH!

/me dances a jig

-karn

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