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NeX over |RES|

Ok, WOoOoO, NeX's first GOLD match. We havent been this high in tfc clanning since our OGL days playing |{, DIV|, and even Zt., well almost. We were gonna play Zt. on the night they died. OK, anyways. This was an insane match on the WORST O MAP, arise.

Round1: This was on |RES|'s server, we all go in. And RES only had 8, so we restarted. The match starts with 9 for each team. But of course, we have to have atleast one drop. Kirby drops like 2 seconds into the round, and keeps getting dropped. The server kept timing him out. He was in and out of the server 20 times before he stopped trying. We then got SKIZZY to come in. He kept have power problems with his house. Anyways, we have 9 after i think 5 minutes into the round. The whole round was D, D for both teams held like mad. Our O only touched their flag for .0000001 seconds twice, gj madeagle. Their O didnt touch ours once, but got VERY close a couple times, but i was lucky with my dispensers. Also, our ownage new demo, SKAIRD, went 40-0 during the round, at one time, he got stuck the wall somehow. So me and enough (medic) healed him, and he popped out of wall. Ohh yea, we were also talking about which of our members got the new york power outage. Our member, pr00f had it happen to him. Then out of nowhere, Madeagle says "If we had a power outage, everyone would just go camping". HAHAH, he lives in tennessee. And, during this round, something weird happened. Cliche was playing bottom spiral, and when a medic came, and was standing on top of the grate thing looking at him, he just threw a grenade at the grate, and it somehow killed him. We were all confused, so i went on top of grate and we tested if you could shoot through it, you cant. SO i guess sometimes grenades go thru grate, dunno. Also, me, cliche, and fragile were doing the clinging noises with our crowbars on the walls. Anyways, the round ends with a 0-0, like predicted by everyone.

Round2: On our server. |RES| was nice enough to supply HLTV for us, since we dont have one, except my 2nd comp. We all are in server, and we both have 9 right at the start. During the prematch, we do our little stack on top of each other and hit use button and jump while Enough does his prayer. After that, we sing a little nsync started by me, and then the round starts. We start, and when im going down the spiral, a scout is running next to me, and somehow concs me. So i have no shotgun aim AT ALL. And he gets all the way to the flag, and carries it to the bottom ele before skaird saves my ass. That scared the shit out of me, i thought we were gonna lose by that cap, all because of me :0. Anyways, i was able to set up and it returned. Then it felt like rd1 again, D dominating both offenses. BUT, this time, RES was owning our spiral D and kept taking down my sg, and get touches and moving the flag. Our offense was also moving the flag a lot, they kept getting it far, but RES kept returning it. Then, one time, the flag was pretty far from flag room, and it was about to return, like 2 seconds, and suddenly, our D soldier proof comes out of nowhere and gets a touch. Our DEFENSIVE SOLDIER, haha. He went O out of nowhere because their O kept going spiral, so he was bored. He ends up getting the touch, and moving it. Then our other O move it, and proof touches it AGAIN on the same run. Proof is the allstar the for the match, even though i told him to stay on D, heh. Our O took a couple runs to get it out of RR, and then we capped! Finally, a cap on this map. After this, i think our O got confidence and RES started running 5 O. So our D was struggling, but still held the flag. Our O just kept getting caps, with Enough, Abyss, Kirby, and Madeagle doing awesome. Enough and Abyss killed their D, mad took down SG, and Kirby got nonstop touches, thats why his score was like 1-85864. Also during this round, cliche's mouse broke, and he could barely play. So i was having trouble covering fr by myself. Cliche's moues kept getting the fire button stuck, and he like couldnt move it. One time he was stuck shooting the wall and 4 of their O got in our FR. I think he fixed it, so we were ok. The round ends 40-0.

VGG |RES|

Very clean, very fun

Ohh yea, our best player, pez, couldnt make the match because he starts 4th grade tomorrow, so he had to go to bed. Pez likes men.

-[NeX]chimp

Member Inputs:

[NeX]pr00f: i want to be in it. lol, my demo is funny. wheeeeeeeeeeeeee

[NeX]Madeagle: that was a fuckin insane match... VVGG to |RES|. The match was all tied up untill pr00f decided to go o and get a touch right before the flag returned... after that we capped and kept getting relays. thankyou res for a very enjoyable game of tfc.

[NeX]Fragile: omgoooooses insane UH OH ALL CAPS AGAIN! I PLAYED HW WITH CLCHE.. UR O GOT BY ME A LOT OF TIMES BY HIDING AROUND CORNERS. IT WAS SMART. FIRST ROUND YALL WHORED THE ELE. 2ND ROUND YOU WHORED THE SPIRAL. OUR DEMO, SKAIRD, WAS 40-0 FIRST ROUND. THEN BLAH BLAH BLAH. UR OFFENSE WAS GOOD, ITS JUST THAT THAT MAP IS D-ORIENTED LIKE MAD. UHHH... CLICHE AND I MADE MUSIC ROUND ONE. WAS FUN. SKAIRD ROCKS MY BOXERS. VVVVVGG. SMILE!

[NeX]cliche: i just want to add chimp was also making the music too - it was cool music. ever hear of that band "stomp" they make music with trashcans and throwing baseball bats and shit. we were hittting the walls and singing (it was that boring) r1. 0-0
r2: pr00f tries to be a smartass and plays offense while he is on defense... and we capped 4 times in like 10 minutes, what does he know. fragile lost his touch and my mouse stopped working so i had to aim with my keyboard, i went 50-9 or something so it wasnt bad. we ended up winning 40-0 yay 10 game winning streak

[NeX]Kirby:
--------- Writeup addition by Kirby starts here ---------
So these crazy NeX people, my clanmates of all of 2 days, are all adding things to this writeup for our match with RES. They came to me to add something to this writeup, perhaps something about how i disconnected 6 times in the first round (their fault), and went 1 and 58 in the second round (my fault). Perhaps they wanted me to write something about RES' d, or our o, or something insightful about the match that nobody else bothered to mention. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

This is not that writeup.

This is, however, my writeup, so I'm going to write about writeups in general. The problem with most of these "writeups" is that they are usually short and boring in nature. A few gg's, some vgg's and some OMG GG's, and that's the standard writeup. Nobody cares to put some effort into their writeups. Can we get some originality here?

I mean... I'm not exactly writing up the match now, but hey, you're reading this, so it means I'm at least holding your attention, right? It's at least.. interesting? Yeah, thought so, it sucks. But I am putting time into this so you all can be entertained while reading our matchup, and y'know, that's all that I ask. Give some fucking effort. Perhaps the writeups would be better. Perhaps they'd stop sucking and being boring. Perhaps they'd be funny, like TDA's old writeups, like Dumb and Dumber for people under the age of 6, like Saturday Night Live... ok, bad example. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps again.

No, this is not that writeup, either.

And as a random addition, did you know that 99% of all people, and this includes you, you homo, are really fucking stupid. Yes, the average person is quite a moron, and keep in mind... the average person is smarter then half of the rest of the people. That's a lot of fucking stupid people. Also keep in mind, that someone that's pretty smart (can use their/there/they're correctly) is also pretty fucking dumb. So when you take that into account, you realize that since the pretty smart people are pretty dumb, all the average people are, by comparison, REALLY fucking dumb. And the ones that are straight up dumb? They might as well be retarded. And the retarded? Well, ok, I'll not touch the retarded... they've got enough to deal with.. they're retarded.

So all these stupid people going around, they all believe that they are smart. However, you can easily prove how stupid they are, with a simple mathematical proof. Ok, so it isn't mathematical, and it has no relevance at all to anything I'm writing, and this thing on stupid people up above? While true, it also has no fucking relevance. Carry on with your lives, have you stopped reading yet?

Anyway, it all stems from this. Take the premise of the Matrix.. you could live in a dream / cpu world. You cannot prove that anyone exists except yourself, because you think. Other people could be made up in your mind. So, think of the world population for a second. You think it's 6 billion people. However, you can only prove that you exist. But the other 6 billion people - IF they exist at all - cannot prove that you exist. So if we take the aggregate sum here, and I know I just lost 97% of you with the word aggregate, you exist in exactly 1 out of every 6 billion minds on the earth. Rather, you are proven to exist. Thus, if we were counting you in terms of population, you are 1/6,000,000,000 th of a person. Got it? Good.

Consider... the same is also true of everyone else. They exist, proven, in the sum total of 1/6,000,000,000th of a person. Remember, they're 6 billion of these 6 billionth people.. Are you doing the math? That would mean that... you got it.. the earth's population is 1. And rounding down, you don't exist.

In fact, nobody exists, yet the Earth's population is 1. A mathematical paradox, or the result of stupid people like you trying to read what I'm writing? As nobody has actually read everything I'm writing, the world may never know. In fact, while i wait to see if someone reads this and the world will come to an end when someone finally understands it, I think I'll try and lick my way to the center of a tootsie pop. Nobody knows how many licks it takes, you see. A one... a two.. a three...

--------- Holy fuck it's over! ---------

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