Match info
| Date | League | Winner | Loser | Score | Type | |||||
| 2005-03-28 | STA Bronze | nLv | No Longer Valid | 107.67 +6.24 |
eo | epidemik outbreak | 98.50 -6.24 |
70-20 40-0 | Siege Siege |
|
Writeup:
nLv over eo
I dedicate this writeup to don chocomobocomo.
eo are the somewhat new kids on the block. they've got a hefty, impressive roster that looked sure to do some damage on this map. But after last week vs. tKd we felt pretty solid with our strat and with each guy that we had in each spot.
we started off with the usual routine. 9:25 and only 8 players. But as usual, we somehow managed a solid and capable 9 and headed in.
Round 1
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eo's server. It's a sex machine, and I don't mean that in the same way that I mean "sid is a sex machine." this thing is actually sexy. Sid is not. Anyways...
I established tonight that my roommate downloads porn as routinely as I play TFC. 9:30 EST i check our web log and goodness gracious there's a lot of porn. Short of shutting off his PC while he jerks it, there's not much I can do.
Round 1 I find myself with 500-1000ms spikes every time my roommate starts downloading a new video I guess. So again, in between spikes, I did what I could to O with fury, sid, and funk.
prematch ends and eo comes strong with a solid scout rush. they take the first one home very quickly. the nLv D is still getting set up by the time they cap it and they come out with a somewhat quick relay as well. The score is 2-0 in favor of eo, and this is looking like we're gonna get spanked.
Finally our D gets set up and our O climbs on one another's shoulders and attacks the eo base as some sort of giant, chicken-fighting contraption.
Fury and I demo it up for a while, before he realizes what a bad ass medic he is and goes back to med. Meanwhile funk has switched to spy, finding that he fits the role quite well on this map. Sid is measuring his penis the entire round and unable to do anything worthwhile... except take down a million sg's, a million defenders, grab a million flags, and perform fellatio on me. Idiot sid.
The O smokes some good ganja and makes the eo flag room into our own. funk is ripping their D to pieces, while fury and sid keep em busy long enough for me to get in with my lagged mirv spam.
As with last week, we click and get things done.
don chico gets two wrenches on fury and yours truly. fury however, was feigned, so that one doesn't count. kudos don :[
the eo offense is making touches, but after their first 2 pulls, the nLv D bolts the flag down in the FR and doesn't let it go nowhere. Where you goin? NOWHERE!
it's a bit of a tedious round for me, as I'm spiking for the majority of it, by no fault of eo's server, and the extent of my gameplay is spawn, jump jump jump, prime, release, die, repeat. Occasionally I pull a flag or two, but we owe our great success in rd1 to mister funk!
We are quite content with our performance, and i'm quite pleased with sid's fellatio in rd1, and we head to IRC with smiles on our face... except for sid, who had a bowlfull of jizz on his instead.
Rd1 Offense: funk, fury, sid, me
Rd1 Defense: sub, whore, sponge, ber, shade
Rd1 Score: 70-20 nLv!
Round 2
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Well, after our successful rd1, Whore comes in with some bad news. He tells us that dre and clay are gonna be in rd2. Don PM's me with an ominous "just be ready for rd2, is all I have to say" and we get to thinkin...
With not much else we can do, we head into rd2 hoping that our 5 cap lead is enough to hold off the improved eo lineup.
So back into eo's sexy server we go. At this point my roommate has once again climaxed, and my ping is back to its usual 130 or so. Still nothing to smile about but... oh well.
We decide not to scout rush rd2 as we got raped in our rd1 rush. Everything's the same and we hope we can accomplish as much on O. Our rush is spam-o-rific. We don't get a touch again, but find that their D is pretty much the same, which was a good thing.
This round is somewhat the same as rd1 for us on O. It's marked by some convenient mirv spam, spy leetness, and tandem medics wreaking havoc on the eo base.
eo tightens things up a bit. In general they do a better job of keeping their sg's up this round, and a much better job of holding the flags that we do end up pulling.
The big story of rd2 came all the way on the nLv side of the yard. For 30 minutes not a single flag left our perimeter. As usual, an awesome GG to the nLv D for another solid performance in rd2.
However, this worthy performance was lessened when don chico got yet another motherfucking wrench on me. When I get humiliated like that, the entire nLv team suffers. So go to hell don. You slut. On top of that was thursday... oh thursday, why couldn't you be friday.
in to the side ramp I go, thinking i actually know how to DM as a demo. there i see thursday. he stands there for a moment, deciding with what weapon to kill me best. Weapon of choice: RPG. So he fires one. but I'm slippery, and evade! Up the ramp I go. He fires another. Back down I go :[ So it's about this time that I've expended my 6 pipes and begin to reload.
He stands for a moment, picking his next instrument. Out comes the shotgun... but no... then out comes the crowbar. Fuck me. I run and scamper and try to evade but he gets closer and closer. Our 30 second battle, in which I have yet to hit him is coming to a close. he bores with me finally and just rockets me. I escape with some dignity only to get crowbarred a few moments later rounding a corner.
eo took the loss in rd2, but with it, they took every ounce of my dignity.
luckily my dignity is worth less than dotcom stocks, so it's not too much of a loss, I guess. Anyways...
The other highlight of rd2 is that we get tired of killing eo defense and start taking our rage out on eachother. Several occasions find us doing all the work for the eo D and killing each and every one of our O w/o any help from eo.
A loss is a loss, but I hope it was at least an entertaining one for you guys.
Round 2 draws to a close... we pull our 4th and final flag with only about a minute left.
The nLv is smiling and happy because this is indeed a rd2 shutout that we had no idea was going to be possible for us.
Fury and funk and sid hold hands while I bathe in a pool of my own urine and the round comes to an end.
Rd2 Offense: fury, funk, sid, me
Rd2 Defense: whore, sub, sponge, shade, ber
Rd2 Score: 4-0 nLv!
Final
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So mr_don. So...
I like to keep my writeups happy, so I'll refrain from taunting you. not to mention that you got 2 wrenchings on me, so i'm hardly the one to be doing the taunting. Let's just leave it at this...
Tell your mother that I'll be paying child support again starting next month, and that she can stop feeding you Gerber! Furthermore, my lawn has become quite unruly and I need my beloved mexican back :D
Was a fun and clean and awesome game. We came in planning on wearing all our names as "Don Chico" to honor you, but decided it would have been too confusing and refrained.
Was a fun one, gg eo!
Final Score: 110-20 nLv!
- |nLv|Mr_Rage`H /// lemur4
