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nLv over |3eer

Every so often there comes a TFC match that one writeup simply can't do justice. Beer... you guys take the cake. This is for you!

################################
MR_RAGE PRESENTS
- A No Longer Valid Production
- Featuring Writeups By:
MR_RAGE!
PSI!
SPONGE!
#############################

CHAPTER 1 - RAGE
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Quoting from my pred on KSE about this match:
"Not sure what to expect outta this one. Our last match vs. them wasn't very clean or pretty and turned into a flame fest. Hoping this one is a little more relaxed and fun. tempest_r3 certainly isn't our best match, but we'll see how this one goes."

I came to my PC today thinking that maybe after being humbled from their recent losses, Beer would have changed since the last time we ran into them.

While one thing certainly did change - their skill - the rest is pretty much up to par with a bunch of drunken TFC players who don't know their tongue from their dicks. Thus the name Beer, I suppose.

I don't want my writeup to turn into a flame fest, but it's going to be hard given the incentive that Beer provided me with.

Before I get into it - KingCobra, you're a good fella and show a lot of class, despite the shitlicks in your clan. ty for being civil.

Round 1
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We practice for a little bit before heading into Beer's server. It's a nice server. Smells of hops linger through the air. We get our last minute lineup and the round begins.

The first 20 minutes or so of this round are littered with little OvO potshots coming from Beer. I'm not sure if we were doing it back or not, but I know for one thing that I wasn't.

nLv takes the helm and unleashes. The D does stellar with our little makeshift last second strat and only lets the flag move once. nLv rushes the water a lot and does a lot of damage from there. Other times we just grab one another's penises (penii?) and circle jerk our way around Beer's D.

After my 4th or 5th consecutive run of being OvO'd by one of their meds, I request that they stop. No such luck. We declare it Open Season on the Beer offense, just as teh round comes to a close.

Luckily rd1 didn't get too out of hand, so the night wasn't a complete waste.

Not much noteworthy to say about this except that we rocked them and gave them either a lot or a little to think about in between rounds.

Rd1 Offense: me, sug, fury, fruityboy
Rd1 Defense: sponge, sid, mexi, psi, ber
Rd1 Score: 93-1 nLv!

Round 2
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Back in IRC we brace ourselves for what we know is in store for rd2. I talk to KC in PM and tell him that I'll be telling everyone in nLv to hold off on the OvO until Beer starts it (which we know they will). We agree on a clean round, but I don't think either of us really expect it to happen.

It starts off almost instantly. Beer pulls a cap on their first run and then the fun starts. Between max D, mm1, or excessive OvO, it's hard to decide what would be more worthy to dispute.

Despite the bridge pub match going on, I'm still trying to make my way across the bridge with my medkit out, trying to avoid OvO. It seems Beer just isn't in one of those moods, and they let me have it all but a few times.

I finally decide it's a lost cause to try to motivate these chillen' to play clean, and I do what I do best - die a lot.

Rd2 is a waste of time and goes to show that once a llama, always a llama. Maybe you guys take a hint from your own play and just disband, or even better, get some real players.

nLv answers Beer's OvO with returned spam and the like. We are not innocent, but we're not the instigators either.

gl with whatever it is you guys do when you're not being fuckmooks online.

Rd2 Offense: who cares
Rd2 Defense: sid is ugly
Rd2 Score: 31-33 Beer!

Final
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My final thoughts can't really do this clan justice. I'll leave it at that. I've now wasted 2 monday nights - a total of about 5 or 6 hours playing you guys. I would have been happier spending those 6 hours hanging by my testicles from metal hooks.

GG

- |nLv|Mr_Rage`H - /// lemur4

CHAPTER 2 - SPONGE
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What a fun match-up we had today, with our old pals at clan beer.

Round1 - Both our D and our O performed swimmingly. Maybe beer had its DoD division playing instead of actual TFC'ers? No, that can't be it, because DoD'ers wouldn't complain as much about someone playing yard D once every 10 minutes. That's right, folks, the clan that dedicated itself to making our last match a lame waste of time was tearing up when a soldier they could easily conc over had the gumption to play in the yard. O delicious irony! (The round ends 93-1 in our favor.)

Round2 - We switched things u a bit rd2, realizing it was probably going to be another joke. Boy did beer make us pay! Nope. Instead they dicked around with the OvO and teased the max D limit just as sid teases his asshole with kitchen utencils (I have pics). This round produced a couple of funny moments, such as beer calling us 'classless' and some guy telling sug to learn to aim while his set is trailing by... 90 points. Beer gives us a scare this round, winning 33-31.

gg beer. Maybe you'll realize your past hypocrisy and you'll repent, lest ye be thrown into the fiery pits of hell. Or maybe you'll file a dispute. Or vow revenge upon our eternal souls. Who cares.

CHAPTER 3 - PSI
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Psi whimped out and didn't do a writeup because he doesn't want to take part in this anthology :[

CHAPTER 4 - VAMP (who didn't play)
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r1. we all get in the server and I'm looking around for psilance, who's nowhere to be found. So i'm like shit I have to play Offense. SO the round starts and I'm playing scout, cuz im the best scout left in TFC. I rush in a get a cap off the scout rush. Then I go back and grab another flag. After i finally get killed by beer's medic in the yard mexi steals my cap because thats what they teach you in m3. After about 15 minutes I go afk because I'm tired of raping people.

halftime. I start a Ventrilo channel and everyone is in there singing, but i sing better than everyone which convinces them to put me as hw r2.

r2. its start and then it ends. I get 160 kills. the end.

CONCLUSION
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A few final thoughts on all of this. Our beloved Sid, who has, for so long, put up with my taunts and jokes in my writeups, is finally a grown up working man. As a result, he'll be missing the remainder of our matches, in all probability. Hopefully he'll stick around to do some gathers and shoot the shit.

gg sid! glad Beer could provide you with a memorable last match.

And for the sake of controversy and maybe some more comments...
[20:41] |nLv|Vampire-DI-nL> also add on
[20:42] |nLv|Vampire-DI-nL> Vampire fucking rapes you fucking jews

Despite all of the attrocities in-game, things were pretty civil back in IRC afterwards. I still had fun, and from the looks of it, so did Beer. GG again.

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